Waiting. Patience. Trust. These are all things that are a guarantee in the adoption world. They warn you when you start, but in real time, it’s hard. Like, really hard. The anticipation of something that has a deadline or a due date or a start time can be overwhelming enough, but when none of those are clear, it’s hard to know how to cope. Our most recent wait was for CARA approval, which is generally a 10-20 week range. On top of the fact that adoption timelines are always wonky, there was a small misunderstanding with our dossier and a global pandemic. Details. Needless to say, when the 20 weeks came and went, we weren’t necessarily surprised, but it still made our hearts ache.
I had a really hard time describing my feelings after that 20 week mark. The closest I could come up with was that I “missed” Baby India. I don’t know anything about our who our child is, but I love them. They have been in our hearts for so long that I don’t need to know who they are to desperately miss them. All this said, we were so grateful to know that, although slow, the process was always moving forward. Courts remained open and our agency remained supportive. On Wednesday, August 26th, we finally received the email that we were CARA approved! We (only) had to wait 26 weeks.
The reality is, we know that this was just the first of many long and difficult waits. In fact, this may have been the easiest one. Throughout the remainder of this process and every coming wait, we will know our child. We will literally watch them grow from the other side of the world. However, this brings me to the exciting part. The next step is match! Literally, the next forward movement in the process will include the details of who our child is; name, birthday, gender, location, and smile. I’m melting just thinking about it. All I know is that no matter who they are, they will be worth the wait.
God has been so present throughout this journey. During the lockdown with Covid-19, we were still seeing movement. The first 3 weeks, we received a grant each week. We had the most epic garage sale and witnessed our community rally in support in big ways. God showed up in small whispers as well, like with the photo at the top of this page.
A while back, my mother-in-law went to Waco, TX and brought back a beautiful map wall hanging for us. We put it up in our living room. One day, right after we hit the 20 week mark, I found myself literally standing on the couch staring at it. The more I looked at it, I realized that the word written on it perfectly connects us to our baby. The “w” starts on South Dakota and the “r” ends in India. God is so clearly taking us on a beautiful journey and He’s here for it. Praise hands held high for His presence and love.
Some things on our minds right now that you can be praying for:
- Discernment – This next step is the one we have been most excited for and most terrified of. It is very likely that the next email that we receive from our agency will hold our first glimpse of our Little Love. Once we are presented with their file, we will have 30 days to decide if he/she/they is/are ours. Please pray that God will make it immediately and clearly obvious to us.
- Pandemic Impact – Obviously, whatever direction the world takes will impact the adoption. Pray that numbers go down, the orphanages stay healthy, travel opens up, courts return to full force, and quarantines are no longer required. Covid-19 can go away anytime now (for a lot more reasons than just these).
- Finances – We have avoided talking about this piece too much because it’s very much out of our comfort zone. God has already shown up in big ways with grants, donations, and perseverance to budget and save a lot. There are a lot of large, unknown amounts coming though. Our home study will need to be updated soon. Travel might need to be lengthened because of mandated quarantines in country. The medical costs when we return home are entirely unknown. There are just a lot of things floating right now.
- Timelines – This stresses me out big time. Beyond the waiting, we function on the academic calendar. Based on things taking longer, there’s a good chance that the timelines will clash. Alex and I value our work a lot, but we know the importance of intentional bonding when we get home. We know it will all happen at the exact right time, but we still can’t help, but to stress about it.
There’s a good chance we won’t post or even talk in person about details for a while as we preserve our hearts and decisions during the match process.
Next step – knowing “Baby India” by name!